credit

The Fault in Our Stars

Augustus: Headline?
Hazel: Swing Set Needs Home.
Augustus: Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home.
Hazel: Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children.
Augustus: That's why.
Hazel: What?
Augustus: That's why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival version of the word pedophile? You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.
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